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Places to stop along the Great Lakes in Ontario

  • Writer's pictureRyan Clark

My Sexy Fat Bottom Girl, Yes, She is my Car (RIP)

The view of the sky and trees, looking through her windshield and yes, that really was my nickname for her.

The only reason I own a car or even got my driver licence was for these camping adventures. All winter long she sits peacefully on my longtime buddies front lawn. I was never even motivated to learn how to drive until I discovered just how beautiful my country was and realised that driving by myself was the only way to see it to my own be sated, to have my need quenched. (I had to give her her own little post so she'll keep loving me.)

The Primer down the side was the result of some guy moving a concrete barricade with his pick up while I was camping on a beach. He came over we yapped. I watched him shift it without contemplating the full consequences. As I tried to squeeze out between the concrete and the guard rail I felt and heard it ripping, but was smart enough to realise that if I stopped then, my tires would sink and I would wind up hung up on that concrete barrier in the middle of no-where. Her beauty was marred that day, but our scars make us interesting too. I was on my way for an Oil Change anyway so I primed it before the rust could even start at the Sault St. Marie Canadian Tire. Like I said, the prominent scar gives her character.

On top of being small and a hatchback I typically get some crazy mileage out of her. About 21 kilometres to the litre. I manage to pack a lot of camping gear in that big ass end. Between that and the cheapest insurance I can get, I think she was a sound investment. My insurance starts at the end of this month, and my only speeding ticket lapsed so I'm looking forward to lower rates this year.

A blue toyota matrix with a kayak strapped to roof racks
My Sexy Little Fat Bottom Girl

My next vehicle will probably be a van though, so I can lay out flat if I have camp like that and will let me pack more creature comforts. It will also help transform urban streets into night time camping spots...but shh, don't tell my baby girl. She's been my sole partner on so many of my camping adventures, I don't even like to think about it.

My Car went to the Camp Grounds in the Sky Summer 2021, RIP Baby.

Link to French version


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